Living abroad has thrown me a lot of curve balls, and never more so than when I navigated my first pregnancy in Germany. That’s right – first. As in… I am having another baby in Germany!

PHOTO: Erin Porter

We are now 5 months in and even though I helped compile a full guide for other foreigners pregnant in Germany, I still have a lot to figure out. For example, last time I was a freelancer and taking time off was as simple. This time I work part-time in an office in Berlin and I need to navigate Elternzeit and how to eventually return to work while coordinating with KiTa.

More pressing than work concerns, there is a typical part of pregnancy in Germany I bypassed last time around.  Hebammen are midwives and rather than being a new age-y alternative for childbirth, they are an expected part of having a baby in Germany. In fact, Krankenkasse (public insurance) covers twelve advice sessions with a Hebamme as well as aftercare for up to eight weeks. They help families handle the transition of having a baby in the home and address issues surrounding breastfeeding, baby-proofing, and more.

For my first pregnancy I was on private insurance. This has a reputation of being quite luxurious, but mine was bare bones. I got a set amount for the entire pregnancy and I couldn’t budget in a Hebamme.

This time, I am on public insurance and ready to find my own personal expert. That proved harder than expected…

I had heard rumors that the baby boom in Berlin had gotten even crazier than when I had my daughter in 2014. Dire reports of not being able to pre-register at the hospital, families desperately searching for KiTa spots, and – yes- the endless search for a Hebamme have all reached my ears. Without previous experience, I was starting from scratch.

How to Find a Hebamme in Germany

While there is no set time you need to look for a Hebamme by, the earlier the better as many people have trouble finding someone with availability. Particularly vulnerable are people who have special requests, like specific languages, or are looking during months people tend to be away like over Christmas or summer holidays. If you want a Beleghebamme, a midwife who will attend the birth, it is even more difficult.

I started with the Berlin-based website of berliner-hebammenverband.de. (If you are not in Berlin, the hebammensuche.de site provides a national search.)  Here you can helpfully filter Hebammen by area, language, and services.

I looked in the Kiez (neighborhoods) closest to me and picked Hebammen who listed English as one if their languages. While I was just fine giving birth in a German-speaking hospital, I would really like the person attending to my before and after care and answering any panicky questions to be able to work with me in English. I further limited my search by starting with Hebammen who listed an e-mail – my preferred method of contact… if not for the Germans. Established businesses often have a rickety old website (or an incomplete facebook/instagram if it is a restaurant) with nary an e-mail and everything is done by phone. I planned to expand my search if I didn’t receive any responses.

…which I almost didn’t.

I sent 27 e-mails and refusals started to trickle in. I got some auto-responses straight away noting they were on vacation, or on their own parental leave. Then a few just didn’t have room. Most simply did not respond.

One kindly pointed out the facebook group I had planned to use as a back-up: Hebammenvermittlung Berlin. I studied some of the previous posts and crafted my own:

Hallo,

I included a picture that gave a better idea of what my family is like. Best be honest.

Photo: Erin Porter

In about a day, I got one answer. I eagerly messaged back…and waited and waited. Despondent, I started contemplating my other options again. And then she responded! I might have found someone. We have set a date to meet in the new year.

Other avenues to search for a Hebamme are by word-of-mouth, social media and Krankenhaus (hospitals) and Geburtshaus (birthing clinics) commonly offer a list.

What to Expect from your Hebamme

Along with Hebammen being hard to find, this is a close relationship where it is important you actually get along with your midwife. They often join in on check-ups after week 35 and handle you and your baby intimately. It is vital to have a preliminary meeting so you can determine what is important to both of you, and make sure your expectations match.

Sample questions to ask your Hebamme:

• Background and experience
• If they are associated with a specific hospital
• How many clients they have and how many births are planned around your due date
• What services they offer – acupuncture, hypnobirthing, etc
• Beliefs on pain-relief medications, induced labor, and breast feeding

Germans rarely have an issue offering their opinion, so be direct and find out what you need to know. That’s what I plan on doing anyways! Look for my update in the coming weeks as I continue with this process. Press your thumbs for me – I might need it.