Which Type of Expat Are You?

A few years ago former German Way blogger Geoff wrote about two types of expats: integrated and non-integrated. Those who adapt and blend in, and those who don’t. And for the point he was making that was quite adequate. But in the meantime I have discovered a much wider scope of types or subspecies under the species we shall call Expaticus germanicus, aka the expat in Germany.

Most kinds of expats in Germany enjoy traveling by rail to get to know the country. They are very familiar with the good and not-so-good aspects of Deutsche Bahn. Here we see Berlin’s main railway station. PHOTO: H.L. Flippo

Of course there are as many kinds of expats in German-speaking Europe as there are expats. Every expat situation is unique. However, that won’t stop us from identifying various types of English-speaking expats in Germany by various characteristics. But before we begin, let me quote one of my favorite German authors, the Berlin-born satirist Kurt Tucholsky (1890-1935):

“Neben den Menschen gibt es noch Sachsen und Amerikaner, aber die haben wir noch nicht gehabt und bekommen Zoologie erst in der nächsten Klasse.” (“Besides human beings, there are Saxons and Americans, but we haven’t had them yet. We won’t cover zoology until the next grade.”) – from “Der Mensch” (1931)

Tucholsky wrote “Der Mensch” as a schoolboy’s essay that begins: “Der Mensch hat zwei Beine und zwei Überzeugungen: eine, wenns ihm gut geht, und eine, wenns ihm schlecht geht. Die letztere heißt Religion.” (“Man has two legs and two convictions: one when things are going well, and one when things are going badly. The latter is called religion.”) For some reason this short essay by Tucholsky popped into my head when I began to try to classify expats. Unfortunately, I’m not as clever a writer as Tucholsky, but I’ll do my best.

See if you recognize yourself or some other expats in our “Expat Species Catalog”:

Expaticus germanicus temporalis

This expat species knows that its assignment is temporary, maybe one or two years tops. Knowing that puts one’s expat life in a completely different light from that of Expaticus germanicus sempiternus (the “lifer,” below), a different species we shall discuss below. The temporary expat type falls into two very different main subspecies: Expaticus germanicus temporalis disiunctus (disconnected, remote, non-involved) and Expaticus germanicus temporalis fervidus (enthusiastic, fervent). Disiunctus says: “I’m just passing through and I really don’t need to bother with all that adapting stuff.” This subspecies rarely, if ever, utters more than a few basic German phrases, and only watches German TV if there is absolutely no alternative (BBC, CNN, DVDs, streaming video, etc.). This type will return home without even being able to order wine or a beer in German. I know a lady who spent two years in France as a trailing spouse. She came back to the US barely able to order a croissant in French! Her interaction with the French was almost zero. On the other hand, Expaticus germanicus temporalis fervidus cheerfully participates in almost any aspect of German culture and language, diving in and trying to get the most out of its stay in Germany. Fervidus has even been known to watch “Deutschland sucht den Superstar” and “Tatort.” This expat type truly gets into the German version of joie de vivre, realizing that life is short and that even a temporary expat assignment can offer life-changing opportunities.

Expaticus germanicus sempiternus

The permanent-expat species, also known as a “lifer,” is usually married to a German, with or without children, and plans to live and work in Germany pretty much forever. The sempiternus species is a true expatriate, stress on the “ex.” It sometimes returns to the States, the UK or other ex-homeland for family visits, but “home” is now pretty much Deutschland forever. By nature, the sempiternus puts down deep roots, speaks the language, and is fully integrated into German social norms. That is not to say it does not sometimes feel as if it will never fully understand certain German ways of doing things, but unlike Expaticus germanicus querulus (the complaining expat; see below), sempiternus just accepts Germans as they are, generally without rolling its eyes. When asked where home is, sempiternus replies: “Deutschland.”

The best kinds of expats in Germany participate in many aspects of life in Germany, including Christmas markets like this one in Dresden. PHOTO: Chris Hinz McGinnis

Expaticus germanicus fervidus

Not to be confused with Expaticus germanicus temporalis fervidus above, this species is usually an American male who has moved to Germany because the Germans can do no wrong, and Germany is the promised land! Expaticus germanicus fervidus has found the USA lacking, and now wants to buy a residence in some German city and live happily ever after – and be more German than the Germans. Sometimes this actually works out, but not always. Fervidus usually has some German heritage, but also has some blind spots that can get it into trouble.

Expaticus germanicus querulus

You don’t have to do this expat thing alone. There’s a book for that – written by expats who have been there and done that.

Most other expat species avoid this querulous subspecies like the plague. This type of expat is the exact opposite of Expaticus germanicus fervidus, virtually unable to see anything positive about Germany or the Germans. Spending time with a querulus can plunge even a cockeyed optimist into depression in minutes. This moaner-and-groaner expat variety makes people wonder why it’s still in Germany – and wishing it weren’t. Other expat species may also have querulus tendencies, but rarely to the bitching-and-complaining degree of a purebred querulus.

Expaticus germanicus negotialis vagus

Also referred to as the “nomad” or “wandering” business expat, this species generally works for some international, global firm that stations a few key employees all over the globe. Negotialis vagus happens to be in Germany now, following assignments in Singapore, London, and Dubai. The next expat assignment is coming up in a couple of years, but who knows where. The company’s official language is English, so negotialis vagus has minimal German skills, but maximum business skills. Some members of this species do attempt to integrate into the culture, but with varying degrees of success. Because of its elite status and higher income, few other expat species cross paths with negotialis vagus. Sightings are extremely rare.

Expaticus germanicus vagus

Similar in some ways to the business nomad above, this vagabond species can be anything from an aging hippie to an eternal student, or anyone who wanders the globe in search of… something. Depending on how long it stays in one place, Expaticus germanicus vagus can be surprisingly good at learning the language and culture, but when it tires of a place, it moves on to another.

I realize our catalog is not yet complete, but that is all the time we have for today. If you have suggestions for expat species we may have left out, please let me know. Until next time…

– HF