Earlier this month I had a lightbulb moment. I realised that when you move to another country you really do need to put yourself out there to meet new people, make friends and widen your social activities. You’re probably reading this thinking ‘well, duh!’ and you’d be right. It’s not that I didn’t read all the books, blogs and advice about transitioning to live in another country, I was well aware. I knew what I needed to do but it’s taken me about two years to truly realise it, for it to 100% click. You do need to be ready to throw yourself into any opportunity should it arise. If you get invited to a soziales Zusammenkommen, go along, don’t hold back because people aren’t going to knock at your door and see if you want to hang out for a beer.

Where old meets new, the Weser River in Bremen PHOTO: Sarah E

Although I’ve been here since July 2016, it’s taken a couple of recent meetings with new people to the area to realise what I’ve been doing wrong, or what I could have been doing better all this time. So I’ve been thinking that although those of us that have been living in their host country for a significant amount of time and know a great deal about the ins and outs of being an expat, that perhaps we have more to learn? The learning doesn’t stop at a certain point. Maybe hanging out with the ‘newbies’ with their perspective could just teach us something? To look at our surroundings with fresh eyes again. To appreciate the country we live in with all its unique traditions*. To awaken us to look beyond our current friendship circles. Encourage us to seek out new local activities to try rather than Kaffee und Kuchen every Sunday afternoon. Perhaps being an expat is one long lesson that we should continue to participate in, not give up on once we feel settled? What do you think?

When speaking to the founder of Girl Gone International, she said to me it took her two years to really find her social group when she moved to Hamburg. People she really connected with that she could call on for an impromptu coffee and chat. This is a metric that has stuck with me and one I feel I can resonate with. I really feel like I have turned a corner in the past 6 months, 22 months after moving to northern Germany. I now have a friendship group that meets regularly whether it’s trips to the cinema, a themed dinner party or Weihnachten cookie decorating (can’t wait for this in December). It took a while to get there. There have been times when I have agreed to meet someone and then you don’t hear from them so consider giving up on building a friendship group here. It takes persistence and then hopefully you’ll reap the rewards because a huge part of living in another country is about the people you’ll meet and the experiences you will have with them.

Last week I threw myself into agreeing to meet with a bunch of strangers. I didn’t need to and I nearly didn’t go but I’m pleased I did. The ways you meet people as an expat can be very obscure at times.  A British woman read my personal blog and got in touch with me through Instagram whilst I was in Japan. She had been offered a job opportunity in Bremen, the city I live in and wanted to know more about what it is like here. All the usual questions you want answers to before you agree to a big move – are there many expats? How did you meet people? What are the best areas to live in? Is it safe? I was happy to help share my experience. I didn’t sugar coat it, it’s important to be honest but I didn’t scare her off, thankfully. When moving to another country you really need to soak up the advice and information shared by those who are living and breathing it. I closed our communication by saying if she ever did move over that I’d be happy to meet and show her around.

The original expats, the four musicians that traveled to Bremen to find fame and fortune PHOTO: Sarah E

Fast forward five months and last week I met up with her and a few other expats she has met along the way. She’s now on a mission to bring together more people and build her social circle in the city, which is fantastic. It turns out the whole group was lovely, people I could connect with. Who knew they had been living here all this time, you just have to put yourself out there, go out and find them whether it’s through using Internations, apps like BumbleBeeFF or through friends of friends. I wish I had this same spirit two years ago. Sometimes you think you’ve got this living abroad malarkey down to a tee but sometimes it takes a new expat to teach you a lesson and remind you to make the most of your time abroad.

From my experience, here are some motivations for improving your expat life, even after you are settled;

• Your friendship circle will grow as you’ll be introduced to friends of friends.
• You could be introduced to new activities like handball or slacklining, things you haven’t tried before but now have someone to go with.
• It could lead to an employment opportunity or a work contract if you are a freelancer. For example, I’m now helping a startup business after meeting the co-founders at a birthday dinner for another friend.
• You could find out about places you have not yet discovered in your city or town. I love hearing about others recommendations of restaurants I have not yet discovered in Bremen.
• By meeting people from other countries you’ll expand your knowledge and appreciation for other cultures, I know I have.

*Speaking of appreciating the country we live in, it was announced Germany will be one of the top countries to visit in 2019, alongside the likes of Sri Lanka, Zimbabwe, and Indonesia. Currently, I’m congratulating myself for being two years ahead of all those travel bloggers out there. So although I’ve seen a fair bit of Germany, perhaps more than my home country, I’m going to try and visit more cities next year to further my experience as an expat and celebrate this awesome country.

-Sarah E